Imaging and Landing Dudes

I am not going to tell you that I know how to land a guy. I do not know how myself. I am not a expert. But I have had some dullards and some great guys in my past. I have learned from each of them; something about myself and who I want in my life. You can read books from all of the experts in the world, but they do not have a clue what it is like to date you. They can generalize information until all of the cows come home. But they do not know you. There are books that will tell you that men are simple-minded creatures. Makes them sound like dogs or pigs. But let me tell you from the men from my past. They are more complex than you think. They require attention, love, respect, and communication. Just like us girls. If men and women were so simple, then we would not require anything. It is the complexity that makes us unique and attractive to others.

Sometimes, we let things get in the way of meeting people. I know that I spent a lot of time thinking about what others thought about me. I would let the judgments of others dictate my every move. Now, I have realized that I only need to listen to myself. I need to base my behaviors off of what I want for myself and others. I want to help people in any way that I can. So I need to present myself in the best manner possible. I needed to clean up my behaviors and present the best version of myself online and offline. I started with my looks. Unfortunately, in this society, if I want to get the dream job, I have to present myself like how the others may look. But if I want to approach a guy, that look must change.

Back to the relationship thing…..

It is important to present a genuine version of yourself. What I mean is that you have to be true to yourself. We have to remember who we really are and what impact we have on people in our lives, online and offline. Sometimes, I know that we present this false version of ourselves online. I, for one, do not speak Shakespearan English. I don't even think that I spelled that right. But I have read or seen most of the plays. I can read Spanish, but I cannot speak it. I know how to spell my name and a few words in ASL, but I cannot hold a conversation. My Facebook will tell you what I want you to know.

I read this book last year about how Facebook is doing a number on marriages. The citation is at the bottom if you want to read it. The book discusses how Facebook can become more important than your relationship, and safeguarding your marriage or selves. After reading this book, I realized that sometimes, we place our relationships second to other things that can destroy that relationship. Seeing my friends get married and divorced, I learned that if I choose to get married or get into another relationship, I must hold onto it and myself. I must be willing to fight and defend my marriage or relationship.

My side ramble--There is another book that I think you may find interesting: 52 Things Wives Need from their Husbands by Jay Payleitner. This book just sums up generalizations about men and women from a traditional Christian perspective. It does contain help about understanding the psyche of women and men, but you must remember that each person is different. Think “intersectionality” within your relationship and people in general. The one that I did not like about this book is that they believe marriage is a 50/50 thing. I believe that it should be 100/100. You should put all of you into your marriage. Put all of you or none of you. Don’t go in halfway.

But what do I know, I don’t have a man.

See ya later!!

Krafsky, K.J. & Krafsky, K. (2010). Facebook and your marriage (1st ed.). Maple Valley, WA: Turn the Tide Resource Group.

Yeah, I gave it to you in APA format.