Interracial Dating

I am all for mixed race relations. Having dated men inside and outside of my race, I can understand how it can be an ordeal to date outside of my race in this generation. Living in a large city, you are open to more hate, discrimination, love, and respect. You can run into to violence and love in one street. My best relationships were with white men. My worse have been with black men. I am more likely now to date outside of my race exclusively. This may be the result of relationship failures with black men. This is because of the men that I have chosen to date. I have not found a black man that attracted me on an emotional and educational level. A lot of the black men that I have found, they are more into things that I cannot appreciate. I do not listen to rap music, don’t do drugs, and don’t you dare disrespect me as a woman. If you want a booty-shaking whore with no self-esteem, look somewhere else. If you just want a “baby mama” or make babies and leave, I am not about that life. I don’t date thugs. This generalization has been put into my face, I know already. I prefer a gentleman. If you came up to me with your sagging pants, called me “baby girl”, or you got jewelry covering your entire smile, I would walk away from you before you started talking. That is just not for me. I like a guy who is beyond that. I prefer a bit of jazz or blues, maybe a rock fan. I love 90s stuff, but I loved to dance.

When I was little, I had my crush list. But the crazy part is that none of the guys were black. I always pictured myself with a husband who was not black. I do appreciate the black men(my father is one, my best guy friend is one), but there was something about guys like Mark-Paul Gosselaar or Joey Lawrence that just made my heart melt. I remember looking for posters in magazines(yeah, Teen Beat or Seventeen, I am talking about you), and getting so excited when pictures of the Backstreet Boys would show up(don’t get me started on those guys). Nowadays, I have expanded to Latin and Asian men. Give me a guy from the UK with the beautiful accent, and I just stop in my tracks.

As I said before, interracial relationships are accepted for the most part. Thanks to people like the Lovings, we can now marry anyone we want in terms of race and ethnicity. In terms of marriage, rates for the African-American community has declined. I do believe in marriage. I do plan to do that someday in the far future. There is this book called “Is Marriage for White People” that you may find interesting. There is a part that says that the low marriage rate of black women would help the race. Referring to black people, there is a suggestion that marrying outside of the race would actually help the race. One of the stats say that seven out of every ten black women are unmarried, and college-educated black women are twice as likely as their white peers to not be married by their early 30s. These women are no more likely to marry or stay married. It notes that college-educated black women have higher divorce rates than white women with a high school education. Reading this, I learned that the more education that the black women may have, the less likely they are to get married or stay married. How messed up is that?

I understand that concept. Thinking about how I would date. I would date people who are on the same educational level as myself. This means that I would have date men who have either a Bachelor or Master-level education. This cuts the dating pool down drastically. I would be dooming myself before I even start. There is a high incarceration rate of black men, and most women would not date someone with a criminal record. That record could keep the person from finding a job, home, or get their degree. Financial aid is difficult to get when you have a criminal record. Most applications will deny the application if it is noted that the applicant has a criminal record. Imagine being the other person in the relationship, seeing your loved one being shut down daily from society because of a single mistake. The stress that this would put on the relationship, it can destroy it.

Have an awesome day!!

By the way….here’s the APA citation for the book that I talked about in this post.

Banks, R. R. (2014). Is marriage for white people?: How the african american marriage decline affects everyone. New York, NY: Plume.

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