Interracial Dating, Part 2

I always had this fear of meeting the parents. I remember dating this one guy, who was white. He was a dream. He was sweet, kindhearted, spiritual, and loved me so much. He lived in a town that was very racist and had a strong KKK presence. I remember visiting his home to meet his mom. He was supposed to meet me at the bus stop(we were 20 and didn’t drive), and he was running late. I gave up and decided to walk to the house. He lived only 1 block from the bus stop, so I didn’t have to go far. I am walking down his street, and it was completely silent on the street. I saw people going into their house in droves. There was a lady sitting on the front porch. I noticed a bottle sitting next to her left foot. It was a Jack Daniels bottle, and was about half empty. She stood up, and I saw her pull out a gun from behind her. She cocked it back and I ran. I ran track for 4 years in school, and I think I channeled those races. I got to his house and banged on the door. I couldn’t breathe or talk. All I could do was point in the direction of the lady. My boyfriend waves at the neighbor, and carries me into the house to the couch. His mother comes in and greets me. She was so sweet to me. She worked nearby, and knew people that were friends with my mother. His family was so gracious to me and made sure that I was happy and welcome in their home. Even though we broke up a few months later, I still care about him and his family. I learned that not everyone follows the rules of the society around them.

I went to college in the year 2000. As a first-year student, I had to learn the college culture. Two days in, I learned that interracial dating for black people was not accepted. It was an unspoken rule that no one really discusses, but black people learn it the hard way. If I even looked at a guy that wasn't black, I was told to look away and know my place. But if a white guy wanted to date an Asian or Latina woman, there was no issue. Selective racism did run the place. Being a millennial, I thought that more people would be more accepting of interracial marriage and dating. But when you go to a college or institution that is run by people of the previous generations, this is not always the case. I chose to leave the college after dealing with so many emotional beatings given to me by staff and fellow students.

I didn’t graduate from college until 2013. I went to a college that was more ethnically diverse. I was exposed to fine arts, poetry slams, political events, and non-profit actions. I remember getting my ticket to see L-Vis Lives by Chicago artist Kevin Coval. It was amazing. It was amazing because I saw how communities and music from the past blended into the great minds of this generation. If you ever get the chance to see Coval or his Louder than a Bomb shows, you should definitely check it out. There is an article about him that I think that you will find interesting. I will cite it at the bottom of this page.

I went a Chicago Cubs game, volunteered at prom giveaways, and helped people who called into a college radio show. The time that I spent at this college was beneficial to me building my self-confidence. I saw a side of humanity that was disgusting. I had girls who did talk about me behind my back, sometimes they were hateful. You could feel the spite or evil come from their spirit. The negative energy just filled the room. I got rejected from a sorority that I learned had beliefs that I was against. I saw the negativity thrown in my direction and I was able to move out of the way and smile in their face. I had girls who abused me wanting to help others. I learned that people can be evil if they want to be. This is a learned behavior that for some people, it can be applied a bit too easy. Do I regret my time and choice of that college? NOT FOR A SECOND.

Anyway, I have not been on a real date in years. I have been focusing on my education and getting myself in order. I don’t want to date people if I am not emotionally and physically ready to date. I was not mentally ready to put myself out there until this year. I thought I was ready, but then I approached a guy. Thinking about the scenario and how I felt afterwards, I knew that I was not ready. I will not go for online dating. I prefer to go old-school and meet people out in the real world. Don’t get me wrong, I have met some good guys, but I realized that they were not marriage material or relationship material for me. I do wish that they find the woman that they want to spend life with, but I know that I am certainly not that woman. I know that I will get back out there. I have not given up on love, dating, or relationships. As far as interracial dating goes, I will continue to do so. For a long period of time, it will be all that I will do. Until I see the one black guy that can drive my attention, I will continue on the interracial path.

Just for fun, I will list my current faves or dream guys in no particular order:

Based on Physical Aspects:Christian Kane, Kevin James, Ryan Reynolds, Gale Harold, John Cena

Based on Personality & other Non-Physical Aspects: David Tennant,Tom Hardy, James Corden, Matt LeBlanc, Chris Pratt

This scattered post was brought to you by my lack of Vanilla Coke. I haven’t had a bottle of it in weeks. I don’t know if it is withdrawal or what, but I am tired and lack some focus.

See ya later!!!

APA citation for the article that I was talking about:

Pollock, M. (2017, April). What the white boy wants. Chicago, 90-93,120.

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