Wasting Time

I believe that I have wasted a lot of time in my life. I have wasted it in certain colleges, on certain people, and not having my act together. I know I put things on hold, and I have not cherished the alotted time that I was given. I have been judgmental about people. I let that saying "don't judge a book by its cover" just fall by the wayside. I have no problem telling people how I feel, but I feel I can be hard on people. There is a need to be stay committed to who I want to be.

I wrote a long time ago about what I wanted in a man, the man that God intended for me. There was a list about what I thought the guys around me were like. I judged it based on the horrible dating options that I saw around me. It was broken down like this:

• They must have at least a 3-year plan for their life. I will not accept a guy who just lives in the moment. I have a goal to graduate with a Masters. They must be doing something with their life.

• They must have some collegiate background. Associates degree is fine, just something to show that they did something with their time. You might want more so that you don't feel you have to compare yourself to me or to my degrees.

• They need to be of a larger stature. But not to the point when I am concerned about their health, see Ruben Studdard before he lost weight if you need clarification (think anything over 325lbs is too heavy for me). For the ideal size, think Kevin James. No skinny guys need to apply. I won't even take a second look at you (unless you are David Tennant). Muscular guys need not apply either. I don't see myself with a guy that works out harder than I do (but I can alter this if needed).

• Must appreciate Doctor Who (at least the David Tennant episodes) or at least seen one episode. It is my favorite show...deal with it.

• They must be able to listen or watch the following: Backstreet Boys, New Kids on the Block, Take That, Spice Girls----My Boys, Big Bang Theory, Leverage, and any recent Sandra Bullock movie (except for All About Steve, that movie was just plain terrible).

• They must be able to balance a checkbook and care for their own finances. If I can do it, so can they. It is not hard at all.

• They must be willing to travel. I like traveling to different cities and just walking around to find new places to hang out.

• They must dress properly. This means that saggy pants or baggy jeans, over-sized shirts, and pajamas (in public) are not allowed when you are with me. I don't care if you are not standing next to me. The guy that I want to be with---should NEVER LOOK LIKE THEY STARRED IN A RAP VIDEO.

• If you have a car, and you choose to high volume music, keep going. I don't want you and neither does your neighborhood. I don't want to be associated with the ignorant behavior. Turn it down and have some common sense.

• Their childhood must be over. I am not picking up where mommy left off.

• They don't have to be the same age as me, there is no age limit, just over 30 please.

To me, it is about finding your stride when it comes to finding your speed, and people that are on your level. This is about exposing yourself to new things and people. I have to prepare myself for that I could be single forever. I have to prepare myself for the fact that I spent so much of my time judging people based on looks and first impressions that are most likely wrong. I am 34 and I have spent decades judging Black men based on these first impressions of bravado and "ghetto" attitude that may not be who they really are in real life. My insecurities have led me down this path that I may not be happy with. Life is definitely full of challenges. You should be ready to face them or sit your backside down and let someone else do it. My goal is to stop judging people and live my life to its fullest. By letting go of any of my first impressions, I can meet new and interesting people that I would have disregarded as ignorant or stupid. I can give new people a chance. I just hope that they don't let me down.

#personality #lifelesson