Letter to My Ex, round 3
- Oct 6, 2017
- 4 min read
I went to college in September of 2000. It was a bible college in Indiana, and I was one of 12 black people on campus. Yeah, you read it right---12. I made it an appointment to meet all of them, and I did. On the application, one of the first questions addressed race and ethnicity. On the first day, all of the black students were told to not date outside of their race. I found this troubling because I knew that this was racism. Little did I know, this was the first of many racist things that would happen to me while at this college. I have not told my friends that I know through the college most of what happened. I don't want to turn them off of their faith. But my soul was severely damaged at that college.
In the first month, I met Royce. He was one of the 12. But his case was unique because he is half black and half white. He had to choose how to identify himself if he wanted to date there. I believe that he chose to identify as white, because he had girlfriends of different ethnic backgrounds. I met him through a friend from church, Merlinda (RIP Merli). She had gone a couple of dates with Royce, and introduced him to me and our friend Sarah. There was something about him that I found interesting. I never pursued him because I had a boyfriend back home. Being in a bible college, I knew that he was on the straight and narrow, and he was a goody two shoes, totally not my type. Little did I know, this was a façade that he played so well. I left the college in 2001 after a long thought process and talking to my parents about family issues.
I would still see Royce when I went to church (the church that I attended owns the college). He was a bus captain (I think) in Chicago, so I saw him during the morning services. He was looking good. I had enrolled in college back home, and he was still attending the bible college. According to college policy, we couldn't date without strict rules in place. When I heard that he got expelled, I was surprised. I thought that this was the path for him. Then, he asked me out. I was shocked. I didn't think that I was good enough to date him. We had known each other for a few years, but we didn't know each other very well. We went on to date exclusively for a few years. Our relationship took place at the lowest parts of our lives.
In case you are reading this, Royce T.----
Hiya!
You are a great man, and I am grateful for my experiences with you. I am including the bad ones here. I am grateful for those years that I had with you. Though we ended on a sour note, the song was beautiful. You are now a good husband, father, and pastor. You have taken your past and used it to enrich the community around you. I am proud of the man that you have become.
During our time together, I finally became a woman. I learned about responsibility, respect for myself, and how to care for my man. I remember when you got really sick at my house. I remember when your car broke down at my house and we had to push it down the hill to give it a head start. Good thing that my house was at the top of the hill! We were together during some tough times in our lives, but I knew that you were there for me and vice versa. The trip to Tacoma was amazing. I was in school at the time, so you made sure that I had time to finish my assignments while on vacation. I got to explore a new place, and see you do what you do best, teach children about God. I saw your true smile. I saw the joy that being with those children gave you. It is no wonder that you became a pastor working with children. It just makes sense. I remember going to that house and running from the backyard. You closed the car door behind me—such a gentleman—and the window shattered. I remember the look on your face when it happened and the sweeping of the glass into the street and sidewalks. Thank you for a great 21st birthday and those years of relationship. I am sure that you are far from the guy that I dated, and Lord knows that I am happy about that. I am happy about that, for sure. We have grown up a lot since those days. Goodness, we were a mess, but we were in it together. I wouldn't take back anything from those days. But now, I see a Dodge Spirit and I get instant flashbacks. Yeah, you know what I am talking about. You remember that green car. Don't even get me started on TruGreen. I wish nothing but the best with your church and family. Stay awesome!
Nicole
Song of the week----
LeFevre Quartet---Crown Him King
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_gUgnsZHBD0
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