Can you feel pain when it comes to loving someone?

Oct 26, 2018
2 min read

God, yes! When you are in love, there needs to be pain. It is a war of nerves. We don't want to feel pain, but it forces you to mature. There is a unholy peace. There is a wisdom that comes with it. If you want a candy land relationship, I need you to grow up. We don't want to be alone. But we end up suppressing our fears in favor of holding onto people that may not need to hold onto. We don't want to separate from seasonal love. We want to hold onto people that are not good for us just so that we are not alone. The fear of being alone is so strong. I held onto a relationship that was dead for years. I was comfortable in that war of nerves. I was comfortable in the situation that I dealt for myself. I will not say that it was dealt to me. I started the relationship and I kept it going longer than it should have been going. I dealt every card in that relationship. I don't blame myself for his affairs. I do blame myself for staying after finding out about them. I do blame myself for shrugging his behaviors off as part of his sexuality.

There are some men that cannot handle the consequences of their role in the dissolution of a relationship. There are some women who are in the same position. The hurt is real. The pain is real. But we need that pain in order to progress in life. We need to struggle in order to survive. Sometimes, tragedy brings out the worst in people. Sometimes, tragedy brings out the best in people. I needed that failed relationships to improve on my self-confidence and self-worth. I have never been married, but I learned from every relationship. I have only one failed relationship, and it was the last one that I was in. I have been in serious relationships before him and I believe that they did not fail. Just because a relationship ends, it doesn't mean that it failed. I am friends with these men. I root for their successes, as they do for me. I consider them some of the best men in the world. They have gone on to have great marriages and relationships. Some have went to college and gotten degrees, while some have started good businesses. I may not get rewards from their successes, but I am proud to see them at the beginning of their work. I am proud of who they are now.

Pain comes with growing up and getting into relationships. Not everyone marries their first boyfriend or girlfriend and stay married. Divorce is always lingering in marriages. Relationship dissolution is always going to be an option for people. No one wants their relationships to end. They think that they are a failure at life if a relationship ends. Let me just tell you this right now. YOU ARE NOT A FAILURE BECAUSE A RELATIONSHIP ENDS. Love was not wasted on you.