Expressing Opinions?
- Nov 16, 2018
- 3 min read
Hey!
Someone tell me why it is okay to express your opinion to a mother about how she raises her kids when you are a man who doesn't take care of their kids? I don't have kids, but I will hold your baby if I see that you are stressed out. I will not judge you on your parenting unless I see you doing a really bad job. If your child is just running through the store or playing on unsafe materials in the store, I will judge you. I can see why they have those leashes for children. Remember when they were popular. They had the puppy backpack with the leash that the little kids wear at the airport or grocery store. I saw a kid get snatched back with that leash and I jumped. I was shocked when I saw it. But now that my niece is at the age where is good for walking away and doing dumb stuff, I understand why parents used it. But it is about establishing rules from the beginning, right? I don't know.
I didn't have a child because I didn't want to be responsible for another life. I barely take care of myself correctly. My niece is the closest that I will get to having children. I have taken her as my little baby, even though she is 4 now. She is one of my best friends. She is my world. We can chat about things at school, we play games, we watch videos on our phones together on the couch. We can trust each other. I know that if she walks away, she will come back. She knows not to go stray too far and stay within eye range. She has freedom, but she knows that it can be taken away. I allow her to express herself. I tell her to use her words to let me know what she is thinking. But if a deadbeat parent tries to tell me how to raise her, I would not look at their comments with respect. My eyes may roll so hard that I get a headache. I could learn from their mistakes. Maybe I shouldn't be so dismissive of them. But I need them to know that I may not take them at face value because they don't have the valid experience to speak from.
We ask ourselves why is it okay to take advice from someone who has never been in our position? I am in training for marriage therapy. Never been married, so why should you listen to me? I don't have any experience to use in counseling. The answer is that the right therapist doesn't take from their own experience and apply it to you. The right counselor doesn't externalize their problems. The goal is to get you to your happy place, the final bow. The right counselor will put aside their biases and values in favor of you. So no, I don't have to be married to be a counselor. I have to know therapeutic techniques and strategies so that you can evaluate your relationship and personal value system to make it work for you. When I get my license, my focuses will be in premarital counseling, LGBT family counseling, and sex therapy education. Using modern techniques, I will try to help as many people as possible. Why is it okay to listen to someone when they haven't been in your position? They see things from the outside that you may miss. You would be surprised what is on the other side that could help you.
Song for this piece:
I was feeling a bit of Christian pop today. I felt like this song was just speaking to me, so I am sharing it with you.
Don't Get Comfortable by Brandon Heath
https://youtu.be/1qlTlawI4t8
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